On this issue, John MacArthur has embraced too much of Lewis Smead’s erroneous and corrosive “therapeutic forgiveness” teaching from his book, 𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵: 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘞𝘦 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦. Consequently, he hopelessly confuses otherwise clear biblical issues when he answers this young woman’s question. Eagerness to forgive a sin done against ourselves is not the same as the act of forgiving a sin committed against us. Readiness to forgive is what drives out bitterness toward those who have sinned against us but refuse to acknowledge their sins and repent. Holding a forgiving posture toward others who have sinned against us but refuse to confess their sins to us to seek reconciliation is not the same as the act of remitting a sin that has been acknowledged and confessed to us.
We are obligated to behave like God, who is eager, ready, and willing to forgive sinners. Hence, the gospel message. But God does not forgive the sins of the unrepentant. God forgives the sins of people who acknowledge their sins, confess them, and seek his forgiveness. Nor should we forgive the sins of people who remain unrepentant after sinning against us. We are obliged to imitate God. Our readiness to forgive sins committed against us is the killer of bitterness. The act of forgiveness is the transaction of remitting a confessed sin, leading to reconciliation and peace.
On this issue, MacArthur is a less than reliable teacher and guide.
Below is a transcript of what John MacArthur said in response to the question about forgiving sins committed against us as presented in this video clip.
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So, when you’re talking about relationships, do you have the right to withhold love and kindness and mercy and grace and forgiveness from someone who has not asked you to forgive them some sin that they committed against you? No. The magnanimous thing is to simply say, as a general heart attitude, “I forgive. I forgive. Um. It doesn’t have to be transactional now. Having said that, the relationship is not likely to be fully restored until the person you’ve already forgiven comes back and wants to make it right. Now that’s not always the case, because look, there are people who sin against us, I mean, people sin against me or against Patricia, um, we don’t say, “Okay, that’s the end of those people until they show up, you know, on their knees and plead forgiveness, they’re not gonna be part of our life.” You don’t do that! You, you just overlook a transgression because love covers a multitude of sins. You just overlook those things. And you fully embrace those people, and you treat them with love and kindness and forgiveness. Otherwise, you’re just accumulating bitterness. Forgiveness is unconditional in that sense, that it’s freely given. And it does the most good to the person who forgives. Otherwise, you’re gonna go through life just holding grudges in every direction. That makes no sense.
For the development of what I am persuaded is the biblical teaching concerning the conditional nature of forgiveness of sins, see the following.
Lavishly Forgive Sins in order to be Forgiven: Jesus’ Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.